My Misfortunes21 May 2009
I’ve only come across this recently when two friends posted it in their blogs. Google your name, preceded by “Unfortunately”.
So what did “Unfortunately, Sally . . . . ” bring me:
Unfortunately, Sally was only interested in Vegemite sandwiches. Nope, wrong there. I may have become an Aussie citizen, but I didn’t have to pass a Vegemite test (can’t stand the stuff).
Unfortunately, Sally had a poor singing voice. Wrong again. I don’t think anyone has ever described my singing voice as ‘poor’ – that would be far too complimentary. ‘Dreadful’, ‘atrocious’ maybe, but never ‘poor’.
Unfortunately, Sally’s lower right canine (fang) tooth was showing signs of advanced periodontal disease. Nearly right, though I wouldn’t call it a fang. Ten minutes before I did the Sticks and Strings interview, a front tooth dropped out! Hence, if you know me, you’ll notice rather slurred speech. Now all fixed, I’m pleased to say.
Unfortunately, Sally’s monthly expenses exceed her monthly income. AT THE MOMENT that isn’t quite right either, though with the current economic situation, who knows?
Unfortunately Sally, who was hard of hearing in her right ear and left nostril, heard that as “tonight you are free to speak jive”. Hard of hearing in her left nostril? I suppose that describes me though I’d always just assumed that EVERYONE has problems hearing through their left nostrils – and their right ones too, come to that.
Unfortunately, Sally forgot for a brief moment that she was a leper. Yep. Completely slipped my mind. Although in some quarters, I’m receiving constant reminders (in-joke, sorry).
Unfortunately, Sally was still normal size and cracks jokes about it. The only jokes cracked about my size usually come from my sister. I’m NOT normal size (I’m short, OK?) but I don’t consider it a misfortune (except when trying to buy trousers or in a large crowd).
I then tried Googling “Fortunately, Sally” and got some interesting ones from that. But that will be another post.